fking boring these few days. only worked on 1 day this week, it's like wtf? feel like finding another perm part-time job. This job really cannot cover my expenses, moreover, i still want to buy a laptop when my school starts. Recently really really broke. hardly can spend money. i've to consider even eating a good meal over at marina sq. zzz. capl winter is tomorrow, wish me luck, really feel like winning and get some $$. i don't care about the fame all these, i just want money, money and money!! This world is so fucked up, everyday got to worry about money. don understand why. Guess i go cut botak go be monk stay in temple and resist all temptations to spend money, at the same time can help me quit smoking. hehe. class gathering on last wednesday, had a great time with my ex- classmates, thou i can't join them over at cass's house due to my fking headache. another problem to solve. NYE countdown!! howhowhow. guess i'll rot at home and countdown with my television(: tomorrow will be a better day! hope later i go out for training i can pick up $100 from the floor, which is IMPOSSIBLE. lol.
emo+emo+emo= super duper emo

Recently, i have been frequenting access these few days. Didn't really spend a lot, but yes, i had fun, along with boredom. First day i went was sway, got screened by police. zzz wtf. but after that we had fun drinking tgt, talking cock all these. Well, i did something which i was not suppose to do, but i guess i'm alright. No more! Thanks to Kenny, he drove me back when i was like, high? Got to know a new friend, who always cock with me. His name is ahyong, quite a nice guy, except that he got alot of jiao wei, but mostly are funny lah(: ok, c'mas is coming. Got the craving to drink again. LET'S GET HIGH TGT (;

After a day of hardwork, all i want is just to lie on my own bed and slowly fall asleep. There's nothing in the world more comfortable than that (:

someone taught me a valuable lesson today. If you don't take care of yourself, no one would. This world is selfish, who will do things for others willingly? there's always a price to pay. ALWAYS. If you die, they don't. If you don't, they will. Reality is harsh. I'm not being self-centered but, yes, take good care of yourself first, before you care for others.

okay last week was.. great? worked on wed thurs fri. wed and thurs was at police cantoment, fri at ocbc. ocbc was cool, me and jeff all the way! (: though the crowd was non-stop, we still found time to eat our meals and cock with people working in starhub. lol. and saturday was a day to rest. hit town with some of my best buddies and we had a great time there. Although one of them keep kp-ing " wah, raining leh, still ask me come town!! " , but his grumbles did not stop us from enjoying ourselves. went cine to pool. rachel came to meet me for awhile then went to meet her friend already. okay, overall saturday was great. so finally my brother returned from taiwan, and he bought 2 great tees for me. thanks bro! and pray that he'll bring me to jay chou's concert this coming january!! hehe. ok, time for some DA DAO LI. went boat quay on friday..? yup friday. And i realised something that i knew but i didn't know. Our life is just a show and we, are the actor/ actress in it. isn't it? think about it, and you'll find that it's true. You act like 1 in front of this person, and like another in front of another. Think about it.

P.S. Don't be cruel to animals. Please! They are also living things like us.

a happy day, a group of us went to access room to enjoy ourselves, as the NS men had just got their pay. Who knows it turns out to be a nightmare, not for me, but for my friend. I really hope that guy can't get away, because he caused injury onto my friend, and it's not a minor one. At that time i really hope i could do something to help, but all i could do is to slimmer down other people like taiyong and cassan. Joining a gang doesn't gives the right to hit people without getting the situation right, even that it's in ur territory. So what if you're in a gang? Singapore is all about law and money. You got money, you win. I trust my friend that he didn't do anything wrong. And for that guy who hitted my friend, i can only wish you good luck as you're definitely going in. Be it 3 months or 3 years, what i really hope is justice to be seeked. Gonna pray for my friend that he's going to be alright, so i hope the SPF can get things right.

well, i don even have the guts to talk to that girl, might as well forget it. sui yuan bah ! (: anyw the golden compass is quite a nice movie, peeps out there should catch it too! wah, cant get to slp. damn sian lah. zzz.

Just visited cantoment today, AGAIN but finally, a beautiful ending for my case. Hehe, meaning, i got away with a warning. I was lucky i guess, because this offence is serious. Worked for WYWY shop (singtel) the past two days. Although work was boring because basically i had nothing to do, except to entertain customers and read newspapers? But my colleagues were kind to me. Jeffery and Raynor. Despite the age gap between us, we can still communicate kinda well. Went home with Raynor yesterday, we talked about quite a lot of things in the bus, mostly were his travelling experiences. Jeffery is a kind guy, every morning come woodlands to fetch me and Raynor to our working place, he's a nice guy too. Ok, almost forgot about Dex. He was the one who gave me the training over at WYWY parkway on Monday. A nice guy too, Anthony's friend. The training he gave was like more to a relax, easy going training session, and i absorb quite alot too. Now i know it's not easy working in this industry. So many industries i've yet to try out!! Gonna try them 1 by 1. Saw a girl, don't really know her but the feelings just came. okay, i swear i'm gonna go and talk to her. hahaha (: don ask me who, cos it's a bu neng shuo de mi mi! okay, i know i'm lame. Hope things goes well for me, but i guess, not much hope ): okay, might be visiting boat quay this weekend, seems like i'm looking forward to it, don't know why, but yes!!! boat quay!!

just got back from work. well, nothing special about work but i've got something to say. met 2 new friends today, Chun Ming and Pei Yee (: both are good people, had quite an enjoyable time working together with them. It's my second time, standing in btw so many indians, or should i say so much? lol. but i can tell that indians actually cherish friendship more than me. You can actually see how they treat each other, the way they communicate and express their friendship. Although most of the indians in Little India did not go through much education, but they are very polite. Not all, but most of them. Though some people may have prejudices against them saying that they are cheekopeks or whatever, but if you really met those kind of people, it's only a few. I'm not trying to clear any misunderstandings here, but to say that actually most of them are good people. Now, i can further understand their culture. Working at little india is a great experience for me, though i don't really like the food there ): no offence though. Okay, funny thing today is... ADAM KENA BIRDSHIT. WAHAHA!!!

It depends on how you want to live your life. if it sucks, it's your fault and no one else. I finally understood this. Having sore throat, flu and cough these few days. Hope i'll recover soon (: And congrats to Cassan that she found her hp, thanks to a kind taxi driver.

okay, back for some thoughts. Nothing much happened recently. Life for me, is still erm, how should i describe it.. sucks? Now i realised something. An ITE student did the same crime as a JC student, both charged by the police, bring up to the juvenile court. However, the JC student can merely get away by just a warning, but the ITE student might be sentenced a fine, or a probation. Why is the society like that? Can't an ITE student be kind at heart? Is it that if you can study means that you can benefit the society? It is a discrimination happening in our homes that we live in, which is Singapore. The mindset has been set that those can study well means that your character is good, everything about you is good, and those who can't study, is just trash, nothing to the society.

Have been thinking through these few days, what am i to the society? Is it someone insignificant that if one day i vanished into thin air nobody will get affected, or rather maybe lives of some people might get better? like my family members? My brother is right. I have contributed nothing to my family other than troubles and problems. And somehow, i think that i am a nobody in this world, but i don't want to be like this. I want this society to feel the impact that i'm here, contributing something much important. I want to make this society cannot do without me, and i'm gonna start today. I still don't know what am i going to do but, i shall plan my time, doing something more useful and constructive rather than rotting at home and doing nothing. Find a job, feed myself, that's it for now.

i had quite a fufilling day today. went out in the afternoon to meet anthony and we went to bedok police headquarters to accompany him return his warrant card. after that we went to tampines mall to meet chung kwang nam, the birthday boy! went arcade, so much fun. it's been ages since i've visted the arcade. haha! okay, after that met up with a few of nam's friends, and we went to seoul garden to have our dinner buffet. eat and joke along the way. the meal was good though i just had seoul garden last monday.



got nagged by my brother just now. he thinks that poly is the fucking difficult way to earn a decent pay next time, but he never thought that i would really want to enter university after my poly education. I really hates it when he bring his frustrations and anger home from his work and he vent it on me. I just failed my promotional exams, 1 mistake and i'm like condemned in his eyes? what the fuck is this? really wish things would go well when my poly starts, or maybe a member in my family can strike the first prize of toto and have like 1 million dollars. Reality really bites. no money= no talk. FUCKED UP LIFE. I merely made my decision to go poly, is that wrong of me? or is it wrong that i didn't make this decision 1 year ago? when all my family members and relatives persuaded me to go JC and i didn't stood to my ground for poly? now i come to regret. what is life? it's just for you to suffer. Someone enlighten me please!

Finally everything has settled down, at least for now. It has already been decided. I'm going to poly next year. I still don't know if i will regret this action that i insist on making, but since i've already made this decision, i shall do my best. 21st november is getting nearer, and on that day, i've to go back to cantoment police complex to see whether they are going to charge me or not. i really hope i'll get away with a mere warning, or worse come to worse, a probation. I've been down on my luck recently, or you can say i brought it upon myself. I'm just gonna live simple now. No alcohol, no clubbing and no staying out late ( except mahjong at friend's house). Healthy lifestyle ftw! (: I'll start to mug when school starts for me. For now, i need to get myself a job to keep myself occupied, and save up some money.



Heard my mum complaining about her headaches again, and complaining about the amount of clothes she have to wash. Does she deserve all these? After doing so much for the family? And what i can do is just to tell her to rest, rest and rest, but i know she wouldn't. Why are we not rich? Why can some people live in luxury and some people, have to work till their death? Gosh, seeing my mum's health getting poorer each day, the worst always appeared in my mind. Yes, i am going through these thoughts now, and i told myself, i will never never let my next generation go through what i'm going through again. I'll make sure they live in luxury, or at least, rich. They won't have to think about money issues. People say rich people have their own problems too, but i guess, problems of the rich are also the problems of the poor.