just got back from work. well, nothing special about work but i've got something to say. met 2 new friends today, Chun Ming and Pei Yee (: both are good people, had quite an enjoyable time working together with them. It's my second time, standing in btw so many indians, or should i say so much? lol. but i can tell that indians actually cherish friendship more than me. You can actually see how they treat each other, the way they communicate and express their friendship. Although most of the indians in Little India did not go through much education, but they are very polite. Not all, but most of them. Though some people may have prejudices against them saying that they are cheekopeks or whatever, but if you really met those kind of people, it's only a few. I'm not trying to clear any misunderstandings here, but to say that actually most of them are good people. Now, i can further understand their culture. Working at little india is a great experience for me, though i don't really like the food there ): no offence though. Okay, funny thing today is... ADAM KENA BIRDSHIT. WAHAHA!!!

It depends on how you want to live your life. if it sucks, it's your fault and no one else. I finally understood this. Having sore throat, flu and cough these few days. Hope i'll recover soon (: And congrats to Cassan that she found her hp, thanks to a kind taxi driver.

okay, back for some thoughts. Nothing much happened recently. Life for me, is still erm, how should i describe it.. sucks? Now i realised something. An ITE student did the same crime as a JC student, both charged by the police, bring up to the juvenile court. However, the JC student can merely get away by just a warning, but the ITE student might be sentenced a fine, or a probation. Why is the society like that? Can't an ITE student be kind at heart? Is it that if you can study means that you can benefit the society? It is a discrimination happening in our homes that we live in, which is Singapore. The mindset has been set that those can study well means that your character is good, everything about you is good, and those who can't study, is just trash, nothing to the society.

Have been thinking through these few days, what am i to the society? Is it someone insignificant that if one day i vanished into thin air nobody will get affected, or rather maybe lives of some people might get better? like my family members? My brother is right. I have contributed nothing to my family other than troubles and problems. And somehow, i think that i am a nobody in this world, but i don't want to be like this. I want this society to feel the impact that i'm here, contributing something much important. I want to make this society cannot do without me, and i'm gonna start today. I still don't know what am i going to do but, i shall plan my time, doing something more useful and constructive rather than rotting at home and doing nothing. Find a job, feed myself, that's it for now.

i had quite a fufilling day today. went out in the afternoon to meet anthony and we went to bedok police headquarters to accompany him return his warrant card. after that we went to tampines mall to meet chung kwang nam, the birthday boy! went arcade, so much fun. it's been ages since i've visted the arcade. haha! okay, after that met up with a few of nam's friends, and we went to seoul garden to have our dinner buffet. eat and joke along the way. the meal was good though i just had seoul garden last monday.



got nagged by my brother just now. he thinks that poly is the fucking difficult way to earn a decent pay next time, but he never thought that i would really want to enter university after my poly education. I really hates it when he bring his frustrations and anger home from his work and he vent it on me. I just failed my promotional exams, 1 mistake and i'm like condemned in his eyes? what the fuck is this? really wish things would go well when my poly starts, or maybe a member in my family can strike the first prize of toto and have like 1 million dollars. Reality really bites. no money= no talk. FUCKED UP LIFE. I merely made my decision to go poly, is that wrong of me? or is it wrong that i didn't make this decision 1 year ago? when all my family members and relatives persuaded me to go JC and i didn't stood to my ground for poly? now i come to regret. what is life? it's just for you to suffer. Someone enlighten me please!

Finally everything has settled down, at least for now. It has already been decided. I'm going to poly next year. I still don't know if i will regret this action that i insist on making, but since i've already made this decision, i shall do my best. 21st november is getting nearer, and on that day, i've to go back to cantoment police complex to see whether they are going to charge me or not. i really hope i'll get away with a mere warning, or worse come to worse, a probation. I've been down on my luck recently, or you can say i brought it upon myself. I'm just gonna live simple now. No alcohol, no clubbing and no staying out late ( except mahjong at friend's house). Healthy lifestyle ftw! (: I'll start to mug when school starts for me. For now, i need to get myself a job to keep myself occupied, and save up some money.



Heard my mum complaining about her headaches again, and complaining about the amount of clothes she have to wash. Does she deserve all these? After doing so much for the family? And what i can do is just to tell her to rest, rest and rest, but i know she wouldn't. Why are we not rich? Why can some people live in luxury and some people, have to work till their death? Gosh, seeing my mum's health getting poorer each day, the worst always appeared in my mind. Yes, i am going through these thoughts now, and i told myself, i will never never let my next generation go through what i'm going through again. I'll make sure they live in luxury, or at least, rich. They won't have to think about money issues. People say rich people have their own problems too, but i guess, problems of the rich are also the problems of the poor.